The Daily Review
2/23/06 The Handicapped
The Daily Review

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I was walking down the street about an hour ago and within half a block I saw two handicap people in those motorized wheel chairs bailing around.  The West End is full of these people, it's like a mini handicapped race track.  I bet you a thousand dollars that I could walk down the street right now and see a handicapped person.  I can't really afford to put a thousand dollars on the line right now, but I'm so confident that I'm willing to do it.  Man, if it wasn't for the fact that you would be handicapped, it would be sweet to be handicapped.  You could be so lazy all the time and it would be excusable.  "Hey, fuck you, I'm handicapped!"  I know that sounds pretty mean, but I don't care, I'm a jerk.  Also, you would get all this financial aid, you wouldn't be rich, but you wouldn't have to work.  What does a handicap person need money for anyway?  Well, if I was handicapped I'd probably be a big drunk and do heroin.  Why not?  You're already handicapped, what the hell do you have to lose?  So after thinking about this, I'm glad I'm not handicapped.  I'm going for a walk now.  Why?  Because I can fucking walk, woo hoo!

2/23/06