The Daily Review
5/20/04 Douches
The Daily Review

douchbag.jpg

Last night I was watching TV and someone called someone else a douchebag which reminded me of the time Mike G. and I went to Hannaford to buy a douche.  We had no idea what one looked like so we were pretty curious what the deal was with them.  Before purchasing the douche I rigged myself all up homie style with a head band, a banged hat, and one pant leg rolled up.  I had this ridiculous strut going on and all patrons of Hannaford laughed at me behind my back, but I could sense it, and appreciate it.  I thought it was funny because people seriously do that in public and think they're cool.  Anyways, when Mike was buying the douche the Cashier wouldn't look at us, which is understandable because two dudes were buying douches.  When we got back to my house we opened it up and found out what a douche was, a squirt gun.  We sprayed that thing all over the place and it smelt nice because we chose a lovely scent of Morning Meadow or something like that.  So after that experience I didn't understand what a douche bag was because all the douche consisted of was a stamen type dealy and a little pouch of cleansing juice.  So as I went through the internet to look for a picture of a douche I came upon a site explaining how to use a douche bag.  So from what I gathered is that we bought the new age douche and before you would use that weird thing in the picture above and hook up all kinds of tubes to run all the solvents or whatever you use.  I didn't read the article so I could only imagine you would use something like vinegar or Coca Cola to clean that crotch out.

5/20/04